Define "chronic" masturbator.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
