have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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