yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
