I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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