i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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