Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
