THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
