She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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