She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How naked do you want me to be?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
