Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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