Don't you send me to vm
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
