Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
