the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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