real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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