I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
