About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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