I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
