Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
