Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
