wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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