What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
