Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
