Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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