If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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