We're facebook friends in real life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
