I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
