Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Send help, water and tortillas.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
