Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize