my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I party with great urgency now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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