Swine flu. Run for my life!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My dad just said "fuck circus"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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