Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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