Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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