This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
