You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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