Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
