i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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