So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
