it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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