Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm just crazy horny about you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
