last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
