i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
