nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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