My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
