How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
