you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
