Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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