im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
