4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
