I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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