some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize