Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
