i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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