And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
