so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he thought i was a dude.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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