Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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