Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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