why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im holly from the hills drunk
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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