I want to walk on stilts...naked
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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