i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
