I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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