My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
