sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
