she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
