is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
