You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That accounts for only three of the penises
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
