i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
