Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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